First up is a rare treasure of my childhood. The "Christian-Archie" comic known as "Archie's Datebook" drawn and written by Al Hartley, a comic-book artist who, when the Holy Spirit convicted him, realized that drawing boobies was wrong, that he should repent of his sin and use his talents in a way that would bring glory to God by highjacking other people's characters to use in poorly written religious propoganda.
Let's get started, shall we?
- Archie lies.
- Dilton Doiley invented the internet.
- On what he originally intended it for, we can only speculate.
- When Archie wants help in his love life, he breaks the fourth-wall. He does this because he knows that the best people to get relationship advice from are those who have not yet hit puberty.
- Books written in a time and culture where pre-arranged marriages were the norm are also a great source of dating-advice.
- Archie and the gang will occasionally travel to the sleaziest part of town for the sole purpose of frowning in the direction of an adult movie theatre.
- There are people out there that are turned-on sexually by the thought of hiring lawyers, dividing estates, and making alimony payments, and that’s were divorce-fetish pornography finds it’s market niche.
- Archie needs to wear a shirt that reminds people where his face is.
- Watching the sun rise with your backs to each other is wrong wrong wrong! YOU FACE IN THE SAME DIRECTION THE WAY GOD INTENDED!
- Betty and Archie's dates are never x-rated, although you will notice plenty of subtext if you look for it.
- There's nothing wrong with the occasional bible-study sex-romp, but heaven forbid the woman doesn't pay for her meal.