Thursday, May 24, 2007

Pimping Purity Part 2: Purity is Hell

One thing that I like about Fred Stoeker and Steve Arterburn, they really support the troops, and all I gotta say is that it takes a hell of a set of priorities to look at the war in Iraq and worry that people are masturbating over there:

The battle for sexual integrity has no boundaries.

The "Every Soldier's Battle" campaign was born, unknowingly, when one Army chaplain in Iraq purchased copies of "Every Man's Battle" and "Every Man's Battle Workbook" for men in his unit to read and study together in their quest to maintain sexual purity. The chaplain then sent pictures of his men in their study to us here at New Life, and which we have posted here for you to see.

As Steve (Arterburn) and staff discussed what more New Life could do for these men, and others who might benefit from the same resources, the idea of an Every Soldier's Battle kit was born, for troops abroad and stateside.

New Life Ministries is coordinating efforts with military chaplains to distribute the books. It is also seeking both private and corporate sponsors to cover New Life's cost to obtain, package, ship the books to the chaplains, and cover some of its overhead to promote and carry out this project. NLM is asking for a $50 sponsorship per kit. Private sponsors may choose to purchase one or more kits, and corporate sponsors may purchase tens, hundreds, or even thousands of the kits.

We hope you'll help us support the troops in their quest for sexual purity by purchasing a kit(s) today!

Please donate today!

And what's in these kits exactly that our philanthropic friends are sending to "our boys" (and some girls. I mean, someone has to cook for 'em)?

(click image to enlarge)

Not only that, but the "Every Man" books are practically unparalleled in their usage of warfare terminology. Why, I bet even Sun-Tzu's The Art of War contains less war-oriented language. When you read certain passages of the book (like when Fred refers to an incident where a pastor of a church had to resign from church-leadership as "carnage") the military experience gleamed from Steve and Fred's days of playing with G.I. Joes in their backyards really shines through, so you know that the people whose firsthand experience the horrors of war will find it easy to relate when such terminology is used to describe activities like avoiding convenience-store magazine racks.

Those lucky guys. The prayers of the Brave Soldiers of the U.S. Army are being answered thanks to those kind-hearted donors out there that send in their hard-earned cash to our buddies Fred and Steve, because those two know what under-funded troops fighting a purposeless war really need, their marriages saved. And I don't mean dark sinful secular man's definition of "saving marriage" through regular communication between spouses and counseling that involves "real" doctors and psychiatrists. No, I mean saving marriages Steve Arterburn's, and therefore God's, way: Keeping soldiers from cheating on their spouses by sending them books that strongly discourage performing the one harmless activity they can do alone and in private to relieve themselves of the infuriating and judgment-clouding sexual frustration that inevitably comes from being apart from one's spouse for months at a time.

Keep watch for New Life ministries next major project: Clinics that treat anemia via bloodletting.

1 comment:

Evie Hammond said...